In my younger years, I suffered from an eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. I vividly remember the decision to get healthy, I was 102 lbs. and I was at a cross roads. I had a devil on my right shoulder telling me to go for 96 lbs. and an angel on my left shoulder telling...no shouting "YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF!!" I decided that I needed to get that dang shouting angle to shut it and get the devil off my other shoulder. One of the last conversations I had with my mother over my weight really was not a conversation at all, it was a ultimatum. I think mom and that shouting angel were in cahoots, because I was threatened to be hospitalized. That would have really put a damper on my social life, so I chose to take a hard left turn and get healthy. I was at a baseball game with a friend, who was a powerlifter. He told me about this gym he lifted at, it was small, dark, cold, and dirty. There were boxes of chalk scattered through out the gym, and the dumbbells looked like something out of a Fred Flintstone cartoon. "Your too skinny" he said, "you should come lift with me and try powerlifting." Hmmm...was this my highway to health? I must tell you, when you are a 100 pound chick that wears a lot of lipstick and you walk into a gym that smells of sweat and testosterone, eyes roll. I don't mean in a good way, like "check this babe out...", I mean "this toothpick is gonna get in my way" roll. Needless to say, I was intimidated. The first time I under a bar to "squat", it was a disaster. I could not even squat 95 pounds, so...we started with the bar. Embarrassing at first, especially since my friend had to grab one of the other guys to help him load the plates when he was up, because I could not lift them. After a few months I worked up to 95 pounds, I was crazy happy! I had put on almost 6 pounds and I felt stronger, in body and mind. And, the guys that rolled there eyes, started to acknowledge me. They still did not talk or joke with me, they would even stop talking and smiling when I entered a room, but at least now I was getting "man nods". But, I persisted to get healthy and I did not miss a work out. After 8-10 months I was squatting 185 pounds and my weight was going up...EEEKKK! And I don't mean EEEKK in a "i just saw a mouse EEEKK", the weight gain really worked on my mind. I thought I was getting fat, I had to go buy new cloths because all I had was too tight now. My training partner sat me down on the deadlift platform one evening. I was in tears, I felt I was not in control of my weight anymore, and I was almost ready to quit lifting. I was a wreck, a few of the guys walked into the room the deadlift, they took one look at me crying and froze. It's like a train wreck, you just can't look away. Their "man nods" had turned into "hey girl", and a mutual respect had formed, They knew what I was struggling with when I started lifting and they had seen my progression first hand. They all felt responsible for my health, and I was not the "skinny chick that wears too muck lipstick" anymore... I was "Robyn...she wears too much lipstick." After a long talk and a smack in the head I realized that I was now in control of my weight, and they weight I lifted. Food was not the enemy anymore, it was fuel. I am older and I like to think wiser now. I compete in the 165 pound weight class, and my best single ply lifts are: squat 420, bench 280, deadlift 420. Best RAW lifts are: squat 402, bench 248, deadlift 402. Professionally, I have the career I always wanted, but was out of reach for me at 102 pounds. I am a professional Medic/Firefighter. Personally, I have the man I always wanted. My husband Brian is my best friend and my coach.
Source: http://www.anred.com/stats.html I am happy to say I am of the 60% that has recovered from an eating disorder. I still wear too much lipstick though. :- ) --Robyn |
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