Men of Strength - One Lady's Perspective

by Liz Jones 7/7/09

Strength can mean different things to different people.  To some people it may mean only physical force, the ability to lift heavy weights or to knock out an opponent.  I am an admirer of physical strength, I like muscle…  I like muscle on men, I like muscle in my cars. 

 As a mother of a now adult son - as well as being a single woman - I have put a lot of thought into what makes a “good” man.  What qualities would I look for in a partner, what qualities did I try to instill as a parent?  I was also the Executive Director of a local domestic abuse shelter for a couple of years and have done much work in the community with victims of abuse and other types of harm.  I have seen many cases where the physical strength of a man’s physique has been wielded by the weakest of character.  I can definitely define for someone what strength is not.  It is not a violent person who would use force against a woman, child, or anyone who was not in the ring with them or threatening harm; or the “player” who knows he looks good and treats women like they are not worthy of him in some way; or the juiced up fool who cannot control his body or his emotions; and it is not the weak of mind who doesn’t work to improve his situation or squanders life’s resources.

 I do definitely find a strong body to be a very beautiful and respectable thing, but with that body there has to be more behind the man.  A mint condition shell of a 1974 Plymouth Barracuda may look nice, but it’s not going to get you anywhere without something strong inside.  As a student and admirer of martial arts, I believe in having a marshal art mindset of physical strength- to be strong, well trained, prepared, and aware of your surroundings, but that you never exert force unless you are protecting or defending.  And from there, strength should be defined by what is inside a man, his character, being respectable and respectful, being disciplined- but not so rigid that he can’t enjoy life, being someone that people can rely on. 

 Growing up I did not have a strong male role model in my home.  I think I have spent my life looking for someone who truly defines what it is to be a strong man, and through the years there have been some people who fit into that category.  On TV there was Kevin Sorbo as Hercules, the epitome of a strong man- whose physical strength matched his good deeds and his love of his family.  I have brothers who both provide for their children, one of whom is a single dad and does everything he can for his son.  My son is a strong person, and although still a teenager- so the discipline and responsible behavior may not yet be fully developed- he is a survivor and has overcome severe physical trauma and disability and continued to be a wrestler in high school after coming out of a coma.  I used to teach a class in a local jail to male inmates and always told the men in the class that I believe that those of us who have overcome the most, really develop the best leadership skills.  Someone who can overcome a tough time in life, and be a better person for it, shows true strength.  Maybe that’s what draws me to the bodybuilding life, the quest for defining what true strength is and getting to meet people and hear their stories of transformation and triumph.  Here’s to all the truly strong men out there fighting for our freedom, raising their babies, or doing what they can to enhance the lives around them.